Pity Party

I firmly believe that there are two distinctly different types of pity parties.  One is useless in which you simply feel sad, whine, complain and otherwise wallow in your thoughts and emotions.  The other I believe can actually be beneficial if you get yourself past the wallowing phase and into honestly trying to evaluate the situation and yourself in the situation.  If you can try to detach, step back, and at least attempt to realize the situation from an outside perspective, along with yourself and whatever role you play in the situation.  If you can genuinely try to determine what you are thinking, feeling, and why.  Whether those thoughts and emotions are appropriate and equal responses or not to whatever it is going on in your life.  And what you can do -if anything- to help, or simply change your own actions and the part you are playing.

Lately, (and on and off for quite a while now) I have been throwing both parties for myself.  Recently however, I feel that I have finally started to grow more and more into the second type of pity party and am actually starting to address things in a more rational mind set and also at least attempt (attempt is the key word as I feel like this doesn't easily happen overnight) to view myself and everything from an outside perspective.

I also recently (ok, just today actually) have remembered some of my favorite books from when I was little. I loved Anne of Green Gables!  I owned and read them all, along with of course watching each of the movies.  I loved how Anne thought and spoke and was just so genuinely herself. (I know she is a fictitious character, but we had a childhood bond. I felt we were bosom friends, kindred spirits, if you will.)

"I'm in the depths of despair."

"It's all very well to read about sorrows and imagine yourself living through them heroically, but it's not so nice when you really come to have them, is it?" 

These quotes from Anne fit exactly what I've been feeling lately.  And guess what, I feel like I am far from handling a lot of things "heroically" in my life.  I more often throw myself pity party #1.


HOWEVER, the other day, it morphed into party #2 and really was helpful.  It's amazing how much we need to process and just deal with things.  And at least for me and what I've found so far, is that simply talking about whatever you're thinking and feeling can really help.  I was on the phone with Cody and he just listened.  He didn't try to solve any of the problems.  He didn't offer any suggestions or make any judgement or comments on any of my thoughts, feelings, or opinions.  He just listened.  It was exactly what I needed.  Time for me to let myself talk through everything, share everything, and know that I was genuinely heard by my husband who loves me.  I woke up the next day feeling immensely better and more positive.  

Through all of this lately, this summer I decided to officially and finally take a few small but real steps in trying to grasp and deal with some things in my life. While what I've started doing might not even be noteworthy to some people, it was at least a monumental first step for me. 

---More on this to come.  Hopefully in my next (or at least next few) posts.

For this post I'll end with one last Anne quote on a more positive note, because of course every day isn't one in which I throw a pity party. Even though occasionally the pity party days start to feel like they overwhelm my life, they really don't.  Most days are good, fine, or wonderful.  I'm extremely blessed, and I hope and pray that I never forget that.

“Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” 

Yes, it really is.

Sunless South Padre

A little over a week ago, my family enjoyed a trip to South Padre.  Minus Cody, (sad) it was the first time at least the 6 of us had gone on a vacation together in quite a while!  And while we did not have much sun or great weather until our last day at the beach, we still managed to have a good time.  Unfortunately, since we hadn't gotten much sun up until that point, almost all of us forwent sunscreen (you know, to ensure a semi tan at least).  All I could think later that day was, "I've made a huge mistake."  (Any AD fans reading lol??) By the time I felt that I needed sunscreen, of course it was way too late.  I was not the only one of us burned... but I am pretty sure I'm the only one STILL dealing with the consequences.  Five days after my initial sunburn, I started to get mini blisters. And now 10 days later I am peeling all over.  I don't think I've ever dealt with a sun burn a week and a half later. I'm definitely not going without sunscreen at any point again this summer!

While at South Padre we enjoyed four wheeling, lots of pool time, of course the beach, and a trip to the island's Schlitterbahn.  Everyone else also enjoyed lots of seafood while I suffered from the smell and of course the antics of my brothers.  I had lots of seafood pushed near my face, dangled over my plate, once a shrimp was left on my chair while I went to the bathroom.  While I am used to this behavior, I do honestly get extremely upset if seafood actually touches me or my plate/food at all.  Thankfully it did not come to that.  The dinner would not have ended nicely.

Here are some pics from our trip!  Unfortunately my camera battery was pretty much dead and so all pictures are either from mine or my dad's phone.  So they are not the best quality, but better than nothing.

Exploring a pier.

The boys. 

Of course we all took turns taking pictures on these cut outs!
-Daddy

Mama's turn.
Please note Aaron lurking strategically behind her.

Ryan
(Yes, almost all of us did both the guy and girl cut out.
You know it's more fun when you do the wrong one!)

Mom and dad.

Me on the pier
Nobody ever offered to take my picture so I had to take them of myself lol.

Me and Sean at Pizza Hut.
Yes, we did forgo seafood one night for Pizza Hut.  And guess what, we all loved it!  Pizza just sounded good.

Aaron and Daddy at Pizza Hut

All of us 4 kids at our Pizza Hut dinner.

Driving to do the four wheeling, we pulled over and Aaron explored some massive sand dune drifts practically covering the road toward the end of the island.  

Aaron

Me on the left and Sean on the right

Sean

At the beach. The boys did some skim boarding and  boogie boarding.

We definitely ate one night at Louie's Backyard where everyone but me had the all-you-can-eat seafood buffet.

Mama and Aaron

Ryan and Sean

Me, Ryan, Sean, my mom, Aaron -and my dad took the pic.
Nice family dinner, minus the smell of all the seafood!

9 Years and Counting

Yesterday, June 16th, was our first official date back in high school in the summer of 2003.  Sometimes I can hardly believe we've been together for 9 years and other times it doesn't sound like long enough. I love that so many of my memories from high school and on include Cody.  It's also weird though in ways.  My youngest brother, Aaron, just turned 16 last week -the age I was when Cody and I started dating.  I couldn't imagine him starting to date someone any time soon -let alone someone that he would date long term and eventually marry.  I think I am finally starting to see why my parents didn't take us nearly as seriously as I did back then lol!

So in honor of our 9 year dating anniversary I went back through some of our old photos and decided to share a bunch. -Yes, I am very indecisive and couldn't narrow my pictures down any more.  I tried.  Here's a semi-brief look through our history thus far:

First Date:  
While we had been hanging out prior to this evening, June 16th was our first official date together.  Cody picked me up and took me to dinner at a small local Italian restaurant that is no longer open.  I love Italian food -he knew that from the very beginning.  I very specifically remember one comment he made during dinner. I ordered manicotti (and if you know Cody -you know he doesn't particularly like cheese) and about half way through dinner he just kind of randomly said, "Your food looks like throw up."  -And he was serious. Not joking or being funny.  But somehow it didn't bother me and dinner was wonderful.  That is one of a couple things I specifically remember every time I think of our first date.  After dinner we went to play putt-putt in town.  We had fun.  I'm awful and he won by a lot.  No surprise there.  What the best part was though, after we were done -and it was pretty late, there was almost nobody else there and it was closing, we (stupidly -the water was freezing and gross) got in the little waterfall and splashed around.  It was just silly fun but it made the night.  Here is a photo of the waterfall from the putt-putt place on our first date.  I think that evening will always be one of my favorites to remember.

The Early Days - High School Dating:

Our very first picture together. On our way out to the lake with Cody's aunt and uncle.

Just hanging out.

At Enchanted Rock.  We've gone there several times together and always enjoy it!

We were in band together.  (And Spanish class one year.)  
We pretty much did everything together through band.

Of course we went to prom!  -Cody's senior prom.
We did not go to my senior prom when he was up at A&M.

At Cody's H.S. Graduation. 2004

Long Distance -We did one year apart when Cody was a freshman at A&M and I was still a senior at Smithson Valley.  I went up to visit him for his FLiC Dance in March or April of 2005.

Dating at A&M: 

Going to a football game together. 2006

FLiC Dance 2006

Enchanted Rock day trip over Christmas break. 2006

Summer of 2007 we both went on a mission trip to Zambia.
We had a layover in London for several hours -enough time to do some exploring. 

In Zambia through Family Legacy Missions International.
We were a part of Camp Life for a few weeks that summer. 2007

He Proposed!
On October 20, 2007 Cody proposed!  We were engaged for almost 7 months before our wedding.

Mr. and Mrs.

We got married on May 17, 2008.  We both had one year of school left at A&M.  One semester each of courses and then both of our student teaching semesters.  

Married Life Thus Far  (A super abbreviated version!)

2009
In 2009 we celebrated our one year anniversary with a super sweet picnic at the park where Cody proposed.  We also graduated from A&M, moved to New Braunfels (temporarily) and then to San Antonio when Cody accepted his teaching position at Alamo Heights High School.   

2010
During 2010 Cody both completed his first year of teaching and started his second.  I continued to sub while looking for a teaching job. We also adopted Callie in December at the end of the year!

2011
In 2011 Cody finished his second year of teaching and decided to call it quits and instead pursue a master's degree in statistics for a career change.  I was finally hired to teach and started my first year as a second grade teacher here in San Antonio while Cody started his first year of grad school at UTSA.  We also moved to a duplex in town that we love and is awesome for Callie! -She now has a neighbor dog buddy to play with almost constantly.

2012
So far this year Cody finished his first year of grad school and is now at his internship up in Washington D.C. for 10 weeks over the summer.  I survived my first year of teaching, and despite missing Cody, am enjoying my summer break!

And while this might now be the longest post ever... I think that about covers it!  

Happy 9 year anniversary, Loves!    
   

3-2-1 Cake

The other day I found this recipe for a quick easy single serving cake mix on Pinterest.  Almost everything on Pinterest is awesome... but I'm always a little hesitant when trying new recipes.  I'm so excited I found this for the summer while Cody is gone!  I obviously would not be able to eat a whole cake or brownie mix if I were to make that before it went bad, but I've really been craving some cake-y dessert lately.  This is perfect as you make the mix and then just save it, and use a bit whenever you're in the mood for a single serving.  (Or in my case, two single servings as one was too tiny for me lol.  I eat a lot.)  It wasn't the best or most amazing cake ever... but for such a quick and easy fix, it was wonderful! My first serving I overcooked slightly but the second time when I reduced it a bit, it was super! I sprinkled mine with powdered sugar but I'm sure it would also be delicious with ice cream or whipped cream.

All you do is combine two cake mix boxes -one of which has to be Angel Food cake.  The other is your choice -I did a fudge-y chocolate cake mix.  Mix, seal, and store for when you want it.  To serve it, you just mix 3 T. cake mix with 2 T water and then stir and microwave it for 1 minute on high. (3-2-1.)  I think the original recipe called it a 1-2-3 Cake... I don't know why in my head it got stuck in reverse order. Oh well.   I plan on enjoying this all summer!


I found it on Pinterest, but here is the original link it went back to:

http://thehiddenpantry.blogspot.com/2011/11/aunt-bettys-1-2-3-cake.html

Beyond simple. Quick and easy.

Because of the angel food cake it was kind of spongy
-but still moist and chocolate-y and very enjoyable!

Finally Summer!

So, blogging while teaching has proven extremely difficult for me... so difficult that blogging has simply become nonexistent.  Hopefully I'll be back at least through the summer!  Maybe year two will be slightly easier and I can still blog occasionally. We'll see.

For now I have officially been on summer break for a little over a week!  Unfortunately, the summer countdown was both a happy and sad coming event.  Cody left for Washington D.C. for an internship at the Census Bureau on my first day of summer break -June 1st.  Of course I was thrilled to complete my first year teaching and in that sense was more than ready for a break, but I also did not want Cody to have to leave yet.  (Or I'd prefer at all.)  I am very proud of him though for getting the internship and working hard up there --and studying for a comprehensive exam for his master's degree in statistics in August.  Today we had a nice loooong video date afternoon.  It was much needed to just feel like we are still involved in each other's daily lives.  

I am trying to stay positive.  There are lots of good things even in this not ideal situation.  Cody will hopefully get a good reference and experience from his internship, and get an idea if that is a career path he'd be interested in or not after graduating.  For me, I have declared this a girl summer (and family summer).  I have loved already so much time to hang out with friends and getting to know friends better!  Somehow during the school year there just never seemed any free time to go grab coffee or dinner or hang out. So now I am doing all those things and focusing on fun and relaxing time with girl friends instead of missing Cody and moping around.  I'm also enjoying more time with my family and am really looking forward to a South Padre trip next week with them!

I might try to revamp the blog a bit here soon. I'm unsure if I'll make it private again or not.  If I do and you'd like to read, just text or email me and I'll send you an invite. I may continue to leave it open though... I'm still unsure.

To wrap up this post and in honor of a girl summer, I'm going to steal this picture to share that a friend posted on Facebook:

We enjoyed some time at our friend's neighborhood pool yesterday!  I love y'all!
Left to right:  Liz, Colby, Me, Linsay -and front: Jennifer

Creative Writing

This is a completely random post, but I am having these thoughts and feel like sharing.  Today I really enjoyed an activity my kids did in class... I think they enjoyed it too.  I wrote out three random story leads, and they had to start with the lead and finish the story. They didn't have a lot of time; it was pretty short and sweet, but it was really neat to hear their writing.  Normally we write personal narratives... "My Favorite Birthday" or "What I'm Thankful For" -things like that, which are good to just practice grammar, keeping sentences on topic, basic things like that. But personally, when I was in 2nd grade -what I remember and LOVED was the creative writing. We did it, a lot, and it was the best thing ever. I wrote two stories in 2nd grade that I was extremely proud of.  It was neat to encourage my students and give them that chance to just write creatively.  A lot of the boys' stories were just crazy silly and ridiculous... but a couple students had unique stories that I loved hearing.  And of course, they all loved sharing them -even though they would read so quietly, nobody else could hear it.

On a different note... from a Facebook link, I just saw a trailer for a movie called The Vow -coming out next Valentine's Day. Oh my goodness. First of all, I head-over-heels love Rachel McAdams.  (If you know me, you know this is because of how crazy much I love The Notebook.) So I automatically can't wait to watch any movie she is in... Secondly, I love almost any romantic movie -especially romantic dramas that are super emotional and I cry during the previews (which I did for this one).  I even love really cheesy, predictable, a 4th grader could have written this or acted it out type of romantic movies. I love them all.  Anyways... this preview looked amazing. I canNOT wait for this to come out!  It might become my 2nd favorite movie... it looked like it had that potential.  After dabbing my eyes from watching the preview, (I actually watched 2 different trailers, both equally captivating) I yelled out to Cody in the other room, asking him why I can't have ideas and details like this in my head to write a story so pulling and emotional and moving.  I know the answer though.  I would need something like that to happen in my life... to then be able to write about it with that real, raw emotion.  The problem there... is that all of the amazing love stories -are so amazing because something awful has to happen- and the characters work through it or overcome it, and end up together after a terrible ordeal.  And well frankly, the whole terrible ordeal and having to overcome such an awful even to make for a great story, doesn't sound super in real life.  I wish I could dream a story like this and then magically get it down on paper.  One day maybe I'll be motivated enough and self-disciplined enough to actually write something.  Hopefully.  We'll see. One day...

October

October was a busy month for us... all good things though : )  First we signed a lease on a duplex that we found and liked.  Initially they wanted us to move in just one or two weeks after finding it -and we said that was too quick for us, so we pushed it back to the end of the month.  But we were very excited to find a place we liked -and that was WAY closer to work for me.
 
Next, we enjoyed a 3 day weekend together in Comfort at a Bed and Breakfast which was amazing!  Sometime during September I reached a point of being super stressed and overwhelmed feeling... and so we decided that I would take a personal day for a 'mental health day' (thanks for my friend for suggesting these mental health days!). Cody started looking and booked us a weekend stay at Meyer B&B in Comfort in the middle of October. It was wonderful!  All of the bumper stickers we saw in the town were true for us: "We found comfort in Comfort!"  Lol.  We enjoyed a cozy little cottage type room, hammocks, a jacuzzi, went antique browsing, and just had lots of relaxing time to do nothing together. It was exactly what I especially, but we, needed.

The very next weekend at the end of the month we moved!  Unfortunately our time for the movers to come wasn't until Sunday evening between 3 and 5... of course they didn't show up until about 6:15.  Which means we were literally still moving into our duplex until after 11 Sunday night... which in turn started me off exhausted for a week that ended up being tiring all the way through. But, we love our new place!  I love how much closer I am to work.  We both love that it is a duplex rather than apartment.  It has a not-too-big-but-big-enough yard for Callie, and a garage that we don't know if it will just be storage -or hopefully have enough room for one of our cars.  The whole duplex is tile floor -which is awesome for the amazing amount of hair that Callie constantly sheds -and for spills that she often creates. It has an actual laundry room which we have yet to have.  The kitchen is smaller than our last apartment, but definitely big enough.  We like it -a lot.  We've now been here a week... and most things are unpacked and up and running -with the exception of the kitchen. The kitchen is our goal today -which you can see is going great since I'm on here blogging lol. Oh well... it'll get done... eventually. Our neighbor is really nice, we've talked to her a couple of times. She has a dog also that is a boy about 1 year old that she rescued.  Her dog's name is Dax.  Callie and Dax have both been digging on their side of the fence trying to get to each other! It is super cute and funny to watch. We've let them play together once and they got along great. Both of our backyards are just dirt so they are not tearing anything up, and our neighbor said she didn't mind if they dug and played together.  We'll see how this goes... but for now it's super entertaining to watch, and it is giving Callie something to do outside.

Cody is still doing awesome in school. I am extremely proud of him. He has now officially had a test in all courses and has A's in all of them!  He is working hard and doing great.  As for me, I am counting down for Thanksgiving break! I'm enjoying school, but it is exhausting and I constantly feel either behind, or like I'm barely making it. There are always a million more or extra or different things I could be doing. Sometimes I stay even later than normal and do some of them... and sometimes I just let myself go home. I'm doing my best to do what I need to, but still have time at home to relax and keep my sanity.  I watched Cody get burnt out so quickly and worked literally every evening and weekend... and I decided I would not let myself do that.  I still stay at school late on a regular basis... but at least I'm not bringing anything home, and so far have only had minimum stuff on the weekends.  I'm hoping to keep it this way.

Here are some pics of everything lately. Two weeks until Thanksgiving -which means a much needed week off.  And I just love this time of year!  I love Fall colors, and holiday decorations, and the seasons changing, and this time when I start to pull out jackets and scarves.  Anyways... that's it for now!

AMAZING lunch at a neat tea room in Comfort!

The Sweet we stayed in all weekend.

We loved the hammocks out back!

 

I definitely fell asleep right there after a morning of browsing through dozens of antique stores.

 

Out to dinner on our last evening.

*Sorry all of these pictures kinda stink! We forgot our camera... so everything was just taken on our phones which means awful quality!