Baby Journey -Part 4

Baby Journey -Part 4:  All Kinds of Broken

(Note: Remember this is still playing catch-up.  We are currently at 16 -almost 17 weeks!)

Writing this we're at 8 and a half weeks.  I have a doctor's appointment with my regular doctor to discus my allergies while pregnant (although I plan on discussing this with my OBGYN at our next appointment too).  I think overall my allergies have been the WORST thing to deal with while pregnant.  Cody had no idea how bad my allergies were, although I've tried to tell him in the past.  I normally take Allegra-D without fail on a daily basis, and I still suffer with allergy symptoms at different times.  But right now I cannot take my Allegra-D and it is killing me.  I've tried Claratin and Alavert, both of which did absolutely nothing. Another one I've been told I can take is Zyrtec, but I'm allergic to it.  I did take Sudafed one day and it did help, but it made me feel weird and hyper and I couldn't sleep.  Cody and I decided I wouldn't keep taking it.  I do sinus rinses fairly often which help but very temporarily.  I am still taking Singulair for asthma and partially allergies - although it doesn't do much of anything for the allergies.  I have never blown my nose more in my life, had this much gross drainage in my life, sneezed, coughed, overall felt awful in my entire life.  Cody now knows how much that daily Allegra-D pill helps me.  

Really no belly.  The tiny barely noticeable bump area is from the band on my skirt.

Other things to note... I really am way more emotional.  I guess that's the hormones, right?  I've also unfortunately heard this is totally normal, although also no fun.  Just to mention though, I was a pretty emotional person to begin with.  I normally cry during any sad movie, sometimes even commercials.  I even tear up at the beginning of stupid sports events -even sports I don't care about like football.  You know, when they play those encouraging/get fired up videos of the players and fans and such.  Well, now I am uber extra emotional.  I especially noticed it right away at the very beginning.  I cried at school twice within the first two weeks and just told my team I was overwhelmed.  

School has really, REALLY not been fun at all since I haven't felt well. Teaching takes so much out of you and when I'm already exhausted and feeling sick constantly, it is extremely difficult to make it through each day.  While I have not actually thrown up yet, I have a lot of moments of thinking I'm going to, and literally putting my hand over my mouth and saying "please not now, not right now". I've also reached numerous points where I feel so bad that I wish I would, because I feel like you normally feel a little better/relieved after you do throw up.  One day with being so exhausted, I fell asleep on my desk after work.  I had put my head down to rest for a minute and woke up about twenty-five minutes later.


Just yesterday (remember this has been a while now) I had an emotional break down that started at HEB.  It was Friday and while I didn't feel good exactly, I didn't feel as bad as I usually do right now.  So when I left school I decided to go to HEB.  Big mistake.  It wore me out, took way too long, and I got overwhelmed in the vitamin section.  How ridiculous.  I was out of my prenatal vitamins and I really did NOT want to get the same gummy ones I just finished.  I liked them at first (if you don't know, I HATE swallowing pills and am really bad at it), but recently they have made me gag.  It was weird but I seriously got to a point where I dreaded taking them and simply chewing and swallowing them made me nauseous.  So needless to say, I didn't want them again.  However, I hate swallowing pills.  HATE it.  So I didn't want a pill vitamin.  I was stuck in a conundrum and literally didn't know what to decide.  I must have stood there staring at the prenatal vitamins for several minutes.  I grabbed two bottles to compare ingredients.  I started to get frustrated and upset.  I put the pills back on the shelf and threw (literally threw) the gummy vitamins into my cart.  I walked about two aisles and started to tear up thinking that I really, really, really did not want to chew and swallow those again.  I stopped where I was and Googled on my phone different types of prenatal vitamins.  I basically already knew my options.  I stood there for several minutes not sure what to do.  I looked at the bottle in my cart and it made me gag.  I knew I could not get those because I would not want to take them.  I went back to the vitamin aisle, teared up, and switched to the pills.  As I pushed my cart away from the vitamins I seriously was telling myself this was ridiculous and I needed to pull it together.  I got in a checkout lane and as I put my groceries on the conveyor belt, I thought I was going to start bawling.  While my face got all red and my eyes teary, I did not actually start crying, although I have no clue how I didn't completely lose it in HEB.


That evening after the HEB breakdown, Cody brought dinner home on his way back from work.  I was starving as is the usual now by that time and was on the couch ready to eat when he got home.  As soon as all the food was out and we were about to start eating I silently started crying.  I was still upset about the vitamins, feeling awful, and overall overwhelmed.  Cody made a comment (he didn't see I was crying yet) that he was stressed about our house (which was the messiest it's been in quite a while) and that I stressed him out a bit when I called him (from HEB when I was about to lose it) and asked what time he was heading home.  He then looks over and seeings I'm crying and asks if it's because of what he just said.  I said no I was already crying and told him everything.  I curled up next to him and just cried for a bit (not as quietly) before finally calming down to eat.

(*Ending on such a downer of a post I feel obligated to say that fortunately things have gotten mostly better since then!)